the souls of our hearts
by Vladabean
Summary: Tino and Berwald get married! but, things happen. suicidal thoughts, unforgettable, irreversible pain, an allergic reaction, and much more. they break through, because they would kill for eachother. there's always a way out. only if you look hard enough. one way to describe this story would be a very depressing fic, but then a crack fic came along and they had a chilt.
1. credits

Credits...

Bridesmaids: Ekaterina, Natalya, Lili, mei mei, Michelle, Wendy, and elizabeta. Maid of honor: elizabeta. Flower girls: Lili and Wendy.

Groomsmen: Matthias, Lukas, yao, Ivan, Emil, and Eduard. Ring bearer: Emil.

Pairings for walking down:  
Ivan + Ekaterina  
Lukas + Natalya  
Matthias + elizabeta  
Eduard + Michelle  
Yao + mei mei

Priest: Vladimir.

Musicians: (pianist) Roderich, (guitar [acoustic]) Antonio, (violinist) Feliciano, (cellist) Romano, (bassist [orchestral, not guitar]) Alfred.

Couple crying in the back: Arthur and Francis.

Cook: Ludwig

Photographer: kiku

Manager(time and crap): Tim

And most importantly,

Bride: Tino

Groom: Berwald

Special thanks to Ikea, the guests, and every gun shop in the world. Literally.


	2. Chapter 1

"TINO, CALM YOURSELF!" all of the bridesmaids were trying to get tino to calm himself, and it wasn't looking good. Lili gave it a try. "Mister tino, you will be fine. everyone thinks you and Mister Berwald are perfect for eachother. Even big brother! I promise you, you agreed, and you made the right choice. Now, we have seven hours before we need to start, so that means seven hours to get you ready. So, go wash your face, and we will wait for you, and then we'll make you look stunning for your soon to be husband. You will be happy, and you will have fun! Trust me on this. Now. Don't worry. Take your time. We have no rush!" "t-thank you, Lili..." after about twenty minutes, tino came back. He got his tuxedo on, and the girls slicked his hair back and all in all made him look stunning. While tino was adjusting his tie, his sleeves rolled up a bit and elizabeta noticed something she wasn't supposed to notice. "Hey, tino? What happened to your wrists? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I'm just curious." tino looked down. "Um, i-it's nothing...it doesn't matter. Hanatomago and I were just playing a little rough. That's all..." he said it nervously, but Lizzy brushed it off for tino's sake. He didn't want to talk about it.

the groom's dressing room

"Svergie. Don't fret over this. You love him. He loves you. You have quite a bit in common. You are PERFECT for eachother." Matthias jumped into Lukas and berwald's pep talk. "Don't let fear win you over! How about a beer? You know, when-ack!" "SHUT UP, DANE!" everyone looked up from their phones, or boyfriend (in Ivan and yao's case) and yelled at him. Tim knocked on each dressing room saying they only had two minutes and they needed to get into places.

the reception

After the wedding, everything went rather smoothly. Lili was next to get married since she got the bouquet. Tino and Berwald thought it would be hilarious to give everyone nosebleeds and make out on the floor. Kiku and Lizzy started screeching and everyone got nosebleeds while filming the whole thing. Lili was bleeding the most, and she passed out from blood loss. then Arthur got high off of salt and everything went downhill from there. Roderich decided to tape the Italian brothers to his piano, and he played his now floating piano. Vash pickpocketed turkey and hid in a giant milk carton. Alfred shouted "I'M NOT THE HERO!" and everyone was quiet except for Berwald and tino who were furiously making out and then kiku yelled at everyone to go home.

that night

They had gotten to the hotel room and Berwald and tino decided to freshen up. Tino got ready for a certain something while Berwald was ordering some food for that night. "Ber, I'll get in the shower first. That should give you more time to order."  
"Alright tino." Tino looked at the calendar on his phone. "Tonight's the night." tears burned at the corners of his eyes. "I feel so bad for Berwald...we just got married. But I'm just not good enough for him. he doesn't need someone so...messed up..." painkiller pills. check. Blades. Check. Note. Check. himself...check. He hid the razorblades and the note, and he thought he hid the pills, so he got in the shower, forgetting to hide them. After tino got dressed (he also hid the razors and the note in his pocket) and got out, he started heating up some makkarakeitto. "TINO!" tino realized that he left the pills out. he had to think of something...


	3. Chapter 2

"Tino...what in hetalia are these for!?" luckily, tino had thought of something. "I-I never told you this because...I didn't want to scare you. Ever since the winter war, I have had this annoying pain in my head from where I got shot. I'm so sorry I never told you..." Berwald hugged him. "Sorry I yelled at you. I probably scared you. It's just painkiller and I shouldn't assume things like that." tino looked up at him. "It's not your fault. You're my husband and you were worried about me. you had good intentions and only good intentions. You shouldn't be sorry." after that, Berwald got in the shower. "He's lying to me. I could see it in his eyes...oh, this would be so much easier if I could read the label."

the attempt

That was it. Simple. Tino checked to see if Berwald was 100% asleep. He was. Good. He kissed Berwald on the cheek. "I'm sorry..." Now to finish the job. He took out the note. He laid it out on the counter. "Good lord...valmistadu, Finland." he cut his wrists one last time. He opened the painkiller and took all of them. Everything went black.

Berwald heard a thump. Tino was gone. "Tino..." he rushed out of bed to the source of the noise to see tino laying there, blood all over the sink, and the pill container...it was empty. Tino was still alive. Just knocked out. Berwald called the other Nordics and told them what happened. "You guys can tell a few others if you want." he hung up and rushed to the hospital.

Finland was being treated and Sweden, denmark, Norway, Iceland, Germany, Austria, prussia, Hungary, china, England, Lichtenstein, Switzerland, Russia and Ukraine were in the waiting room. Sweden was crying. Actually crying. "Svergie?" denmark was slightly scared. "This is all my fault..." Sweden held out the note.

"Sweden. I'm sorry. Really, really, sorry. when you proposed to me, I was the happiest I had been in a long time. But when I got home, I realized I wasn't enough and that you deserved better. I didn't think I could give you the love you deserve. It's a stupid reason to go kill myself, but it doesn't matter. You do. I did this for every country really, because I'm just too awkward. But I did it mostly for you. I promise I wasn't keeping any other secrets. But without me, you can finally worry about yourself for once. You still don't have that petition in that you were supposed to work on the night off "the night" do you? But you know what I mean and I'm sorry. It might hurt, but if it does it'll go away. Soon.

\- Finland/tino"

"What?" they were all questioning the moment. It hurt, having one of the nicest countries try to kill themselves. Tino was usually pretty happy, but they understood from the note that he was keeping that secret. But still, he didn't show any signs of being so depressed. "This is all my fault! How was I so blind!? he had those pills...there was so much blood too..." Everyone was confused. China and Russia had the highest suicide rates and even they couldn't understand. they tried calling japan, who had the highest suicide rate, but even he couldn't come down to a conclusion. "Mr. Oxenstierna?" Sweden looked up. "Ja."

"Tino..." Berwald was watching over his sleeping bride. He had lost so much blood. Berwald started stroking tino's hair. The heart monitor started beeping faster, but not dangerously. It wasn't bad. "he knows I'm here..." Tino slowly woke up. "Berwald?" Sweden embraced his dear Finland. "Tino, I love you so much. The fact that you were depressed and didn't talk about it with me hurts so much. Please don't apologize because I completely understand and the feeling of not being good enough can't simply be shaken off. So please, always talk to me. Tell me if something is wrong. I am your husband and it's my job to take care of you and see that you are happy. if you killed yourself, then I would never be the same man." "Berwald..." Tino started crying. "I didn't want you to worry or anything because of me. please don't you ever blame yourself ever again. It's not healthy." "jag elskär, tino." "minäkin rakastan sinua, Berwald." The rest of the Nordics came in. "Tino Vainamoinen if you scare us like that again, we'll burn your sauna." after denmark said that, Norway choked him. Berwald held his "wife" closer. "You do realize that after this, you have to go to mental hospital, right?" Norway was sadly correct. Finland felt tears burning at the corners of his eyes. "But...what about Sweden?" Iceland smiled slightly. "We'll take good care of him. Don't you worry." a few days passed, and it all began.


	4. Chapter 3

Day one: today, you went to mental hospital. I didn't come out of my room for hours, until dinner.

Berwald closed his journal. He went to go see Norway, Iceland, and denmark sitting at the table. "Hey svergie, we ordered a pizza. You ok, man?" for once, the Dane was quiet. Iceland turned on his music. of course, the metal heads of the world were famous for blasting their music, so naturally, Hard Rock Hallelujah was ringing throughout the house. Sweden started crying. Iceland quickly turned it off, realizing what happened. Denmark looked over at him. "Come on. Talk to us." Sweden took a swig of some of his mystery alcohol. "That was tino's favorite song..." things were going downhill with this pretty fast. It hurt Sweden so much to not be with Finland when they could have been together all day. It hurt the others because they had never seen him openly cry before IT happened. Sweden went back to his room and into bed again. "Matthias, Emil. Stay here. I'll go talk to him."

"sve?" "ja?" "hey...sorry about-" "stop apologizing. you three have been outside the door all day, apologizing while I've been too depressed to drag my sorry self out of bed. what is there to apologize for? this isn't your fault. it's mine. you didn't do anything. we all just have to suck it up. my dear Finland's gone and he won't be back for a few months. if you could be so kind to just leave me alone, that would be perfect." Norway got up. he snapped. he was so tired of everything that had been going on. it hadn't even been twenty four hours yet, and...that was it. he was done. "sve, you know what? I am tired of this. get up and FOR GOODNESS SAKES, GROW UP, WILL YOU!? YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE BEING DESTROYED BY THIS! ICELAND, DENMARK, AND I...SO MANY OTHERS ARE SO HURT THAT ONE OF THE NICEST, CALMEST, MOST UNDERSTANDING COUNTRIES WOULD TRY TO KILL HIMSELF! YOU HAVE NO IDEA! THIS HURTS YOU! WE GET IT! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH THIS HURTS US TOO! SO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND BEFORE YOU TELL ANYONE ELSE TO SUCK IT UP, LOOK AT YOUR SORRY SELF! NOW GET YOUR SAD SELF DOWNSTAIRS AND JUST EAT DINNER! IF YOU SAY ONE THING ABOUT TINO I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PAY DENMARK MILLIONS TO HURT YOU SO BADLY, TO THE POINT YOU NEVER FORGET!" Norway started walking out. as he got to the door, he stopped. "why don't you screw some furniture while you're at it..." Berwald stood up, walked over, and punched Lukas so hard he fell. "Stäng, Lukas. Du vet inte hur det är att skada dig inuti. Allt du bryr dig om är din dumma lilla bror och din dyrbara imaginära troll. Du vet inte hur det är att ha din egen kärlek i ditt liv och försöker skada dig själv ... att döda dig själv. Du vet inte hur man ska få din själsfrände från dig, för att vara "fast i huvudet" om du hatar mig så mycket, ta din darntroll och gå ut. åh, och glöm inte Emil och Matthias. ta din lilla grupp rättvisa och gå ut!" "DENMARK! GET UP HERE!" "ja?" "you know what to do." "Norway...why?" "JUST DO IT YOU STUPID DANE!" Norway took Denmark's battle axe, seeing he didn't have the patience for denmark and so he did it himself, and hit Sweden with the side of it, knocking the man out. Sweden awoke in the hospital several days later.


	5. Chapter 4

Sweden looked at everyone. Norway was looking out the window, denmark was brushing some hair out of Sweden's face, and Iceland was at the end of the bed, looking back and forth between Sweden and Norway. berwald tried to speak...but, he couldn't. "You shouldn't try to talk for a while, sve." denmark began. "The doctors said lukas damaged the speech part of your brain. You'll be able to speak, but it'll be a bit hard to understand. I hate to say it, but...norway has a trial in a few days.

Time skip  
(Sweden is out of the hospital and the trial happened, norway has a year in prison.)


	6. Chapter 5

"SWEDEN! BERWALD! I JUST GOT NEWS FROM THE MENTAL INSTITUTE!" denmark ran up the stairs to sweden's room. "Berwald...Tino's coming back next week. Isn't that wonderful? Hey! Maybe we should plan a party. I heard from belarus that the mental institute is kinda boring, so maybe he'd like some exitement." berwald felt tears rolling down his cheeks. "N'xt w'k? I th'nk h'd l've a p'rty." so, they all devised a plan.

One week later...

Sweden, denmark, Iceland, Russia, Ukraine, the Baltics, france, America, Canada, England, china, and hong kong were at the house. and "Ok'y ev'ry'ne. I'm g'ing to br'ng t'no h'me. I'll t'xt 'ne of you, 'nd wh'ev'r g'ts th' t'xt 'll t'll ev'ry'ne to h'de." america spoke up. "Hey dudes, totally forgot to ask before, but is anybody allergic to peanut butter? See, I brought this peanut butter stuff that-" the nordics, russia, ukraine, and the baltics facepalmed. Ukraine spoke up, since she was the nicest and wouldn't start anything. "America, poor Tino is so allergic to nuts that he risks anything if they're even a foot away from the very ROOM he's in." iceland jumped in. "She's saying that tino's allergic to nuts and nobody wants him to die at the party we threw for him. Just put them back in your car and open the window, you should be pretty good after that. Just make sure you don't leave any traces." "okay dude." after that was solved, Berwald left.  
the papers were signed and Tino was free to go. Berwald was so happy to see him that he even carried tino to the car. "I m'ss'd you s' m'ch, t'no..." tino looked up at his husband. "Berwald. what happened?" Sweden knew what he was talking about. "L'k's 'nd I g't in a f'ght...n'th'ng s'r'ous." luckily, tino let him off for now, but they were surely going to talk soon. Sweden sneakily texted Russia.

at the Nordic household  
Ivan got the message and he looked at everyone. "I got the text from Berwald so everybody turn off the lights, shut up, then hide, da?" everyone nodded, and got into formation. but Alfred made a nearly fatal mistake that the witnesses would never forget.

Sweden and tino pulled into the driveway, and they went inside. immediately, everyone jumped out and yelled "WELCOME HOME TINO!" but, as soon as they did, tino dropped to his knees, coughing harshly. Sweden instantly checked his spouse's neck. "h's h'v'ng 'n all'rg'c r'act'on." Sweden, Iceland, and denmark took finland to the hospital. he was going to be fine, but he needed to be held over night, and he'd be kinda out of it for a while. everyone else was in the waiting room, glaring at America while England yelled at him, and Lithuania was trying to back him up. everyone went home after about an hour, but Sweden looked over his dear fin. He still had the spots on his throat and his breathing was just so close to sounding like death. things would be painful for a while. but soon, they would have to have gotten through the merciless first year of their marriage.

two weeks later


	7. Chapter 6

finally. no more pain. Berwald was holding his "wife" to make up for the time they lost. denmark suddenly came in...with five puppies. "uhh, god...tino..I...I'm sorry..." "wh't h'pp'n'd?" "it's hanatamago. I was walking around and I found her with puppies. but, she's dead...I'm so sorry...well, on the bright side, we know where she's been the last week." tino had had enough. he snapped. he went and got a box, put a blanket inside, put some of hanatamago's old toys and some soft treats inside, and put the puppies inside. he set the box by the fireplace. then, he looked at Berwald and Matthias with a dark aura around him. "Berwald. we're taking care of these puppies in honor of my best friend. understand? thank you, Matthias for telling me. I'm done with the pain and sadness. we need to do something fun. if anybody needs me, I'll be in the sauna, and I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOOT IF YOU DON'T BOTHER SO MUCH AS TO KNOCK ON THE FREAKING DOOR. ja?" by now, denmark and Sweden were shaking. "yestino!" "denmark. toss me some salmiaki." denmark threw it and tino wonderously caught it, and walked off. Then berwald and matthias ran to the basement and devised a plan. "We'll make a shrine for him." "th't s'nds l'ke ' sm'rt ch'se." they put up a shrine with some salmiaki, makkarakeitto, guns, knives, a santa hat, and a vase of lilies. (finland's national flower) they heard the door slam. this was going to be a tough day. it was about 12:00 when everyone went to bed. Sweden just held finland until they both fell asleep. then, at three am, Sweden woke up and heard finland crying in his sleep. "h-Hanatomago..." "t'n', c'm' h'r'..." Sweden once again held finland until he fell asleep, but Sweden didn't go to sleep until he was sure finland was ok.


	8. Chapter 7

it was 8:00 pm. Berwald was walking down the street by himself (in a bad part of town) with nothing but his phone, a flashlight, and a small pocket knife on him. he started hearing voices after a bit. "too bad francey pants didn't come! this would have been a most delightful time with him!" a british accent. "oliver...shut. up." two voices that seemed American. two men who looked similar to Alfred and matthew jumped out in front of him. '2ps...' Berwald thought to himself. a man with pinkish hair jumped behind him. "'ello poppet...BOYS!" everything went black.

the Nordic household  
"WHAT!?" denmark and Iceland ran downstairs. "tino? what happened?" Iceland punched him. "tread lightly dane. from recent events we've both learned that he isn't one for sharing his feelings." "oh. right." now, they could see every form of worry on tino's face. "so, japan. you're telling me that you found him unconscious on the side of the road when you and china were driving home from a meeting and you decided to see if he was ok. you saw stab wounds and a few bruises so you took him home to take care of him?" denmark and Iceland could hear japan's voice from the other end of the line. "hai." "ok…that's a lot for me to process. Should we come over?" "we?" "it's just Iceland, denmark, and I." "where's Norway?" "umm, it's hard to explain…he may or may not have gotten himself in jail." "I won't ask…sure. Come on." "thank you…"

China and Japan's house

There was a knock on the door. Japan let them in. "he's fully conscious now and he has a few broken bones. But nothing time won't heal. I-" tino shoved everyone out of the way. "BERWALD OXENSTIERNA! JUST WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!? YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO EXPLAIN BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS HURT! Nobody hurts the love of my life…" everyone was frozen in place. The color had drained from everyone's faces. "thr' c'ntrys…2p 'ngl'nd, 2p 'm'ric', 'nd 2p c'n'da. I g't l'st 'nd 'nd'd up in a b'd p'rt of t'wn. O't of n'wh're I g't c'rn'r'd 'nd s'mh'w I l'st c'nc'sn'ss." The dark aura came back around tino. "say no more." His voice was dangerously low. He kissed Berwald and ran out the door with his gun. Even though he was nearly a block away, they could hear tino yelling, "I'LL KILL YOU ALL! YOU DON'T (censored. Let's keep this pg shall we? You know, the other day I saw a cat and it started screaming at a bird and so I fed the cat an apple. It was the funniest thing you know? AhAhAhAHAHHAHAAHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAAHAHA) MESS WITH MY HUSBAND!", gunshots, and the screams of many. They looked at eachother. China spoke up. "Berwald aru. I wish you luck buddy…Japan. Go get-" japan glared at him. "I told you to stop calling me Japan. CALL ME SUNRISE LAND!" china started yelling a series of mandarin and Cantonese swears and kept calling japan a delinquent. Tino came back with blood all over himself. "china, do you mind if I hide some dead bodies in your basement?" "fine with me. Just hide them well aru. After you're done with that, go take a shower. I can smell the blood from over here aru."


	9. Chapter 8

"Mr. Sweden…" "ja…" "besides your broken hand and ankle, don't you feel like this week is so much better than the last few months we've had? I mean, we'll be all done with the first part and you'll be off your crutches, Norway will get out of jail, and soon, we'll be celebrating our one year anniversary! We'll be just fine, and maybe, we'll be like Yao or Arthur's families. Just a normal family. The five of us together, like old times. But the only difference is, we're married." "jag elskär, tino." "mina rakastan valti, Berwald." Hard rock hallelujah started playing at full blast. Iceland sat in the corner smiling, and denmark started licking the windows and running around shirtless screetching, "BRING ON THE BOOZE!" "ja, t'n'. j'st l'ke 'ld t'mes…"

hope you enjoyed everything! see, I am one of those writers who will try to finish the whole story before anything is published. goodbye, little waffles!


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